I LOVE Chris Garneau. I listened to his newest album on repeat last spring when my family was in Yosemite, and now I forever associate his music with redwood snowy forests... Swooooon.
He is suuuuch a perfect artist to listen to on repeat! When I was totally heartbroken last October, I spent a whole day in bed listening to Music For Tourists on loop. His music has such a MOOD to it. I loooove it :)
2. John Mayer - City Love - maybe the first song I ever heard from him; it’s still perfect. Captures the mood of languid love in some dirty apartment. One of the few songs I can listen to dozens of times in one day & not get sick of it.
“I think you can do it however you want, really. There are no fucking rules — that’s what I always have to remind myself about sitting and mindfulness. Just being can still mean just being, even if things are spinning.”—Amanda Palmer on meditation
If you met some of your favorite musicians and got the chance to play for them, what would you play? Which of your songs and/or covers, and for what musicians?
Oh wow, great question.
I think I would play some of my weirder songs for Regina Spektor (maybe Jellyfish, Eggshell, Morning In Chernobyl) & explain to her how she was my first major musical influence, the first artist who made me want to sit at the piano & write songs. Often, quite absurd songs, since that’s what she was doing back when I first started listening to her (the Soviet Kitsch era).
I’d have Nellie McKay listen to my gay marriage songs. Of all the artists I know who infuse politics into their music, she’s my favorite. Also I’d ask her if she’d play cello solos in… uh… all my songs.
I’d jam with John Mayer on Worthy. See if he could get a sick guitar solo happening.
For Tegan & Sara I’d play my ukulele covers of their songs Hell & Alligator. Hopefully that would amuse them.
My dad was driving me to the Celebration of Life we had for my grandma (basically a performance/party in lieu of a funeral) & I was thinking about how sad I was about her dying, & I thought, “Inside I’m as weak as an eggshell.” I thought it might make a good song but I didn’t have anywhere to write it down so I just let it go.
But generally, if an idea is good, it’ll come back instead of just disappearing into the ether… so a couple days later I remembered the line & wrote some lyrics. Then a couple more days after that, I put them to music. I don’t remember anything about that part… it just kind of happened.
I was going through a bunch of poems I wrote, trying to decide which piece of writing I’m MOST proud of, from ALL of 2010… and I concluded that it’s probably the essay I wrote as my final assignment for grade 12 english. The title of the essay is “Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged: Pedophilia and Other Stories.” IT’S SO GOOD. It makes me want to make out with myself because I’m soooo clever and brilliant. Haha.
“1. Get enough food to eat, and eat it.
2. Find a place to sleep where it is quiet, and sleep there.
3. Reduce intellectual and emotional noise until you reach the silence of yourself, and listen to it.
4.”—"Karma Repair Kit: Items 1-4" by Richard Brautigan
“remember your lovers
but, especially, don’t forget them, while they are in your bedroom
with their hair dishevelled and their clothes strewn
make sure you notice them as they stand before you
as there they lie
tell them that you’re touched a thousand times
of every inch take a picture with your unabashed eye
because this will change, as pictures fade, so love does die”—from Ravish your lover while you still love her by Tanya Davis
Memory: 5th grade. Age 10. I have been a member of the “popular girls” crowd for a few months but I’m still not fitting in very well. They know it & I certainly know it.
We’re having one of our typical bratty arguments. They’re all worried about having the latest, trendiest, most expensive clothes, & I say, “Why do you guys care so much about appearances? They’re not important!”
An upper-middle-class blonde in Juicy Couture says, “If you don’t care about appearances, why do you brush your hair in the morning?” She lists a few other examples. Eyeliner, teeth, jewelry.
I struggle with my words, & ultimately fail to articulate what I could now express confidently, if anyone ever got into the same argument with me, which they don’t: I care about how I look, not because I care what you think, but because if I think that I look good, I feel that I look good & I act like I look good.
& this is just as easily achieved in a $3 vintage dress.
Fortunately I don’t even need to be writing this, because none of my current friends have the same values that those girls did back then, thank god.
peruse: verb. read or examine thoroughly or carefully.
pursue: verb. 1. follow in order to catch or attack. 2. seek to attain (a goal). 3. proceed along (a path or route). 4. follow or continue with (a course of action). continue to investigate or discuss.
Receiving something exciting in the mail is one of life’s great joys. Seriously. These are the days of bills & circulars, worth less to the recipient than the paper they were printed on. To most people, these things actually have negative value. I cannot begin to describe what a kick I get from pulling a colourful envelope out of my post office box!
There is something touching about it, something genuine & unique & authentic. It means that somebody across the ocean has taken the time to sit down & write you something, to put pen to paper with you in mind. Then, with the envelope tucked securely in their handbag, they have deposited it in a box on the side of the road, & postal workers have passed it between hands until it finally arrives at your house.
I made these lists while falling asleep last night, in an attempt to try to brainstorm further goals & resolutions for 2011…
I WANT MORE:
improv, sleep, energy/vitality, laughter, family, music, writing, theatre, getting dressed up, photography, blogging, reading, learning, water, vegetables & fruits, small parties, lipstick, gratitude, sensuality, social engagements, exercise, walking, achieving goals, publicity, encouragement, being proud of myself, meditation, yoga, cute eccentric outfits
I WANT LESS:
addiction/reliance, computer time, stress, deadlines, procrastination, guilt, sugar, carbs, mindlessness/inertia, boredom, cold, messiness, disorganization, sedentariness, insecurity, not following through, sore back, feeling sloppy, fruitless yearning
SO MAYBE I CAN TRY THIS:
-get to bed by 11PM every day
-less junk, more fruit/veg/water
-go out on camera adventures
-compute less, read more
-daily gratitude practices
-regular meditation on goals/wishes
-yoga & hooping
I’m currently working on a rough draft of my goals for 2011.
Every year I make a list of goals & stick it up on my bedroom mirror, crossing things off as I make them happen.
In 2010 I had 18 goals, organized into 3 categories (professional, social, other). So far I have successfully achieved 12 of 18.
When I started making my 2011 list, I noticed that it was going to have to be divided up quite differently. The new categories are: creativity; wisdom & responsibility (a.k.a. school & finances); self-love; social; & miscellaneous.
I’m up to 20 goals so far. Some examples: write 20+ good songs; submit 3+ pieces of writing to a publication; read 30+ books; buy my dream laptop; go vegetarian for a week; kiss someone new; open a bank account.
_____ wears briefs from the little boys’ section, emblazoned with trains & dogs & firemen.
she doesn’t need to wear a bra, so she doesn’t.
her hair is short & choppy & she secretly likes when i ruffle it, even when she protests.
she has arms which are thin but feel unbelievably safe to me when they’re holding me: in bed, standing up in the kitchen, waiting for the subway.
she cooks magnificent vegetarian meals & serves them lavishly, clearly wanting so much for me to be pleased with her (& i always am).
she reminds me of a teenage boy when she makes awkward-yet-adorable suggestive comments, plays video games with utmost intensity, or slyly pretends to stretch so she can put her palm around me.
she reads comic books, graphic novels, gender theory books, & canadian personal narrative anthologies. her favorite writer is a toss-up between stephen king, douglas coupland, & bryan lee o’malley.
she writes poetry but is shy about it.
she has wide, interested eyes & a pink mouth.
her giggles are genuinely adorable & adorably genuine.
“To some people, [the word “queer” is] derogatory. To me, and in many of my circles, it’s a very positive and embracing term that means “transcends the boxes.” If it has offensive meanings to you, you don’t need to call me queer. And if “bisexual” is easier, that word’s fine with me. Just don’t call me any words that mean “heterosexual” or “homosexual,” because those tend to be wrong.”—Sarah Dopp, who I adore & agree with on most things
Grief is such a strange creature, utterly unpredictable, completely manageable one moment & roaring like a lion the next. Every so often you realize that they really are gone & that you really do miss them - & that it isn’t the kind of missing that can be quelled as easily as a subway ride & a chat over tea. This is forever; this is permanent; & the concept of absolute permanence doesn’t seem to come naturally to the human mind, so it takes a great many unfoldings for grief to lay itself out flat on the floor like a carpet you can step right over & walk right past.