Butchy/androgynous/boyish - and chivalrous/gentlemanly. Hella smart, hella funny (especially in kind of a snarky, sarcastic, yet positive way). Brave, strong, will challenge me mentally. Talented, especially at writing or drama. She probably likes Tegan & Sara & also probably has an extensive collection of something nerdy & boyish like X-Men comics or Digimon action figures, & gets kind of embarrassed when you ask about these. She probably dyes her hair crazy colors & occasionally fauxhawks it. Sparse facial piercings are a plus, as long as they don’t get in the way of kissin’.
May or may not have just described my first ex-girlfriend… but she’s the girl I’ve felt most strongly about in a romantic way so I guess that makes sense & doesn’t make me pathetic?
1. explore, expand, & share your talents
2. be nice to everyone you can
3. accept compliments gracefully
4. distribute compliments freely & sincerely
5. say yes often, but be able to say no
6. sleep when you need to
7. eat when you need to
8. surround yourself with beauty (art, music, decor, etc.)
9. only spend time with people who inspire & uplift you
10. stop criticizing & judging
11. document happy moments so you can relive them
12. do your very best to love yourself
13. don’t allow external influences to affect your decisions
14. if you like someone, make sure they know it
15. spend time alone in silence when you need to
16. don’t compare yourself to anyone
17. be honest
18. dream big
19. don’t let anyone take your joy from you
20. do things to impress yourself, no one else
it seems like forever ago
we took that walk out in the snow
your hand reached for my hand
as if it wasn’t planned
that’s when i knew i was smitten
with your mitten in my mitten
if we were more mature, maybe we’d wear gloves
but i love my childish love
i thought that i was so grown up
but then you shook me when you showed up
i’ll always be a kid at the core, you know
a kid who’s never met a kid like you before, you know
when we played truth or dare
& you tugged on my hair
i flashed back to grade 5
& i’ve never felt more alive
then we had a food fight
& then stayed up all night
i listened to the sunrise hush
& knew that this was so much more than a grade-school crush
i love your boyish grin
i love your sense of play
the sparks beneath my skin
grow younger every day
why do you think people have so many questions for you?
I think, when you make art about your personal life, you turn your stories & history into a kind of mythology that becomes interesting to anyone who likes your art. That’s where tabloid culture comes from.
What physical characteristics do you like in people - eye colour, build, height, etc...
I honestly cannot answer this question properly, because every person I’ve ever liked has been radically different, physically. It is almost all about the personality for me - if we click, I find them hot, period.
That said, putting personality aside, I like big soft pink lips, big sweet expressive eyes, long dark eyelashes, well-defined shoulderblades, soft touchable hair (especially if it’s purple, apparently), a childishly joyful smile, & strong angular fingers. Also, the numbers say that I like people who are pale & skinny, but I think that might just be because I go to a school where the vast majority of the kids are pale skinny artists.
Travis: This is a better poem than you could ever write. Ray: Oh yeah? Well try this one on for size: roses are red, violets are blue, why don’t you just shut it?! Travis: That doesn’t even rhyme! Ray: It doesn’t have to - it’s free verse! Surprised you didn’t know that…
Your shows always fall on or around my birthday. I live on the west coast and last year I pleaded to go to Toronto for a mini vacation with the intention of seeing your show, sadly it did not work out. Anyway! Creepiest thing a fan has said or done?
haha oh my god that’s so cute.
My yearly Heliconian show is always around my birthday too, since it’s supposed to be essentially a birthday party.
Aside from the occasional crass comment (e.g. “Nice tits,” “S my D,” etc.), I haven’t had too many creepy fans. I once had a friend who was obsessed-beyond-obsessed with me - said she was in love with me, lurked me online relentlessly, knew everything about me, knew where I was at all times, etc. - but that was okay because she’s my friend & we were very close & I mostly just found it adorable.
I know you like to dress up and I love your style, but it's nice to see you dress plain sometimes. I mean, it's like there's nothing to distract from you and yeah. Anyway, are there any particular people/places/things that influence your style?
haha I’m wondering what you mean by “dress plain.” (Today I’m wearing a black T-shirt with black pants & feel incredibly boring & lazy.) But that’s a compliment, I guess, so thanks!
People/archetypes who influence my style: Gala Darling, Tricia Royal, SuicideGirls, 50s housewives, 80s teen queens, British schoolboys…
Other miscellaneous stuff that influences me: typography (especially black & white & Helvetica), disco balls, colorful messy art, rainbows…
Have you ever had multiple crushes at one moment in time? That said, if you have, do you now?
Of course! Who hasn’t?!
The best was last year when I liked a straight boy & a straight girl at the same time. They were completely different in every way & it was such an interesting experience.
Right now I’m not seriously interested in anyone… I think I’m gonna take a break from the whole romance thing for a while. It’s soooo emotionally draining. I need a vacation from it. Which might mean a lack of creative inspiration, but whatever, I can deal with that.
On average, I probably miss C the most, because she was really nice to me while we were together & did the least backstabbing & lying of any of them. (See my new song “The Only One” for further praises of the lovely C.) Also that was my longest relationship (almost a year & a half) so we were really, really, really close & bonded compared to the others, which each lasted less than 2 months.
I miss F a lot in a different way, though, because I’ve always felt like we could’ve been really great together if it had happened at a different time in our lives… We’re really compatible & we have a fantastic friendship but I often wonder how things could’ve been different. (Explanation of this sentiment in song form: “Early Morning Moon”)
I’m not gonna mention the one I don’t miss at all because that would just be mean ;)
Have you written any new songs lately? I'm going through a Kate-tastic-musical withdrawal here. :)
aww, that’s cute. Yeah, I’ve been working on a song, but I’m still recovering from my wisdom tooth surgery so my face is too horrific to appear in a video right now. When the swelling goes down & I can sing without pain, I’ll video it! <3
Assuming I even have any children!
I’ve been obsessed with the name Sophie for a looooong long time. I have other fleeting name obsessions but that one has stuck.
Also, I just remembered that when I was little, I used to write stories about this fictional girl named Tyndian & I always thought that was kind of a cool, interesting name.
For boys I like Jake & Fletcher & Crush & Oliver & several others…
Travis: It’s kinda cool, actually, having a doppelganger. Ray: A what-a-ganga? Robbie: Your evil twin. Ray: Oh! And here I was, thinking it’d be something weird! Travis: That means a lot, coming from a guy wearing a retainer around his neck. Ray: Some might say it’s romantic…
I am really into romantic confessions… I have kind of a fascination. One of the best dates I’ve ever been on began with a boy randomly showing up at my door & confessing his adoration for me.. which pretty much knocked me off my feet. So I guess my perfect date would start with something of that nature, something surprising & delicious & romantic in a perfectly legendary sort of way.
I love those long, crackling conversations when you’re just getting to know someone. (Don’t we all?) So my ideal date would involve a situation where we could talk a lot, like at a coffee shop or another simple place to sit.
I love going to see shows, especially improv shows. Particularly if it’s the 3rd or 4th date so you can get all snuggly & the improvisers will pick on you for being such a cute couple if you sit in the front row (which I always do). Totally fun.
I really dig it when people initiate some kind of innocent physical contact like holding hands. & then they have to walk me home. & ideally kiss me on my porch, wait to make sure I get in safely, & watch me go in with a big swoony smile on their face. :)
a slightly distressing poem i wrote while slightly intoxicated on anaesthesia
dot dot dot
if i die… if i die… if i die…
you were mean… you were cruel…
enormous disaster… colossal mistake…
dot dot dot dot dot…
tell kate i love her so she doesn’t die
unloved & forgotten. so she doesn’t die
thinking all the boys like models best.
evolve & evaporate & evanesce &
rescue her before she floats on up to
hell, where queer-eyed sinners go.
if i die… if i die… if i die…
tell kate i love her so she doesn’t think
we forgot that sometimes blackness comes
unsolicited & unplanned. so she remembers
what love is when her brain is so clogged
with fear. so her hallucinations will be happy.
you were mean… you were cruel…
& when she leaves, you might regret
all your time spent avoiding eyes,
avoiding connection with someone
so clearly under your lasting effects, like
laughing gas, twilight, & novocaine, all at once.
Dump them immediately, cry for three hours, write several hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-woman-scorned Alanis-Morissette-esque songs, do some EFT, sleep for a long long time, rant at my friends, write endlessly in my journal, & get over it in due time.
some things i’ve been diggin’ on over the past week:
-the improv class i’ve been peer-tutoring since september; how proud & protective i feel of them, like i’m their improv mama; watching them do their final contact pieces, which were beautiful.
-my boycrush, same one i’ve had forever (i.e. 5ish months). i relapsed this week, hard, as i tend to do every few weeks or so - & i like that i am allowing myself to feel these feelings, without guilt, because i’ve already gone through the process of accepting he will never be mine (long ago) & i no longer see it as a tragedy. (side note: i like how, even when i’m feeling more sexually/romantically confused than ever - as i am now - i still like him. he’s like a.. sexual touchstone.. or something..)
-writing love letters to strangers & leaving them on café windowsills, tucked in between subway seats, in knotholes, on flowerbeds, etc.
-getting coffee with my ex’s ex, a lovely new friend of mine. commiserating. confiding. all those amazing sparktastical things that happen when you make a new friend & you click really hard.
-my royal blue faux-leather jacket from H&M.
-tomato soup with triscuit crackers.
-improv, improv, improv. my team. competing. not needing to win to feel good about us.
-messages that basically say, “i was just thinking about you & wanted to say hi. hi!”
-reading lesbian erotica on the subway. (people stare. i don’t care. it’s funny.)
-the strange feeling of benevolent goodness that comes over me when i see people wearing clothes that i’ve lent them.
-being asked on a date - even if i’m not sure, even if i’m scared, even if i’m actually kind of terrified - it feels good nonetheless to be wanted.
-half-hour-long games of big booty. “awwwwwww yeah! big booty, aww yeah! big booty big booty big booty!”
-eating healthier (veggie wraps, whole wheat bread, organic yogurt, fresh fruit, spinach, etc.)
-gossip (the harmless kind).
-making significant amounts of money busking. how good it feels to sit on a street corner playing music & have people throw money at me. the realization that i could actually make a steady income from doing this. wow.
-melatonin & the ensuing sleep. i like sleep. sleep is nice.
-finishing my creative writing pieces for my drama ISU - one is a lesbian love scene written in shakespearian verse, one is a postmodern retelling of a sexually confusing event that actually happened to my ex-girlfriend on the subway, & one is a strange piece entitled “how to seduce a married man.” it feels so good to have gotten them DONE!
-performing for eager-eyed 10th-graders who actually seem to “get” what i’m on about. & who then blush profusely while buying my CD. aww.
-being told that my sparkly leggings are "like a miracle."
-offers i can’t refuse.
-intense coaching on comedic timing.
-slam poetry. rafael casal makes me melt.
-personal questions that actually make me think.
Taurus and Friendship:
A Taurus is an excellent friend. Taurus has few close friends as opposed to many acquaintances. The few people they hold dear to them are guarded and protected. Their friends are treated like family and they are fiercely loyal and dependable. Taurus loves to be the host or hostess. Although not a total social butterfly, they can be shy around strangers, the people who Taurus let into their lives are lavishly catered to when Taurus decides to throw a party, they decorate and present everything lavishly. Taurus will always pamper themselves and their close group of friends.
Taurus Deep Inside:
Taurus are not fond of change. In fact, is change is imminent, they get very nervous and worried. They do not like anything new because anything new is unknown and Taurus fears the unknown. Taurus needs order in their lives and when they do not have order, they get very anxious. Taurus will cut themselves off from the unfamiliar in order to avoid the feelings of insecurity that arise when new experiences and situations are present. Taurus do not express their feelings openly and their inner self is contained and secretive. Many people do not know how sensitive Taurus really is, they hide it well. As a result, they are often emotionally hurt when the wrong things are said, they take things too personally sometimes. Taurus avoids talking about their emotions and many people never really know how they feel.
What it’s like to date a Taurus Woman:
Taurus women are masters in the art of seduction. She will get what she wants but her patience is incredible, she will wait for what she wants She needs stability and security and will not tolerate a man who is not straight with her and leads her along with uncertainty in the future. She is the old-fashioned type, the type of woman who is associated with the drive-in soda shop days of the 60’s. She is down to earth, protective, supportive, loving, devoted and loyal. She is openly affectionate in a relationship. Taurus women is perfect for the man who likes to be nurtured and pampered, providing you are loyal and devoted. She has a lot to give but she requires a lot in return. Remember, the Taurus woman is very sensitive although she might not seem so on the exterior. Court her and constantly try to impress her and you will win her heart and she will be yours. Cross a Taurus woman, and her temper will flare, she will become extremely stubborn. If you ever break her trust, it will be nearly impossible to gain it back again.
How To Attract Taurus:
Do not attempt to rush into a relationship with Taurus. They are very patient and expect you to be so too. Make them laugh, if they are amused and entertained by you, they will enjoy being with you. The way to a Taurus’ heart is through their stomachs. Cook for them or offer to take them to a fine upscale restaurant. Taurus enjoy talking about finance, business, money and material possessions.
Taurus Erogenous Zone:
The throat and neck are the hot spots for any Taurus. Lightly rub the neck, kiss it gently, lick it lightly, even a soft nibble will make them melt like butter! Massage the back of the neck while you are relaxing, this relax them and set the mood for passion!
it bothers me when bisexual/pansexual/omnisexual people employ that incredibly tired cliché that goes something like, “i fall in love with people, not body parts.” or “i’m interested in who someone is, not what they are or what their anatomy is.”
because frankly - straight girls don’t fall in love with penises. lesbians aren’t chasing after vulvas. (for the most part, anyway.)
we ALL fall in love with people, not anatomy. just because you fall in love with people who happen to have a variety of anatomy, don’t think you are somehow less shallow. shallowness has absolutely nothing to do with sexual orientation.
a monologue I'm working on from Daniel MacIvor's "Here Lies Henry"
Love is lovely. Yes it is. Well you should know. So should I. Because we’re in love. Yes we are. You and Me.
I’m me, obviously. You’re you. You have an overbite, which I find cute. You have a love of crossword puzzles, which I am willing to overlook. You have an allergy to my dog, so I put him down. Why? Because this is love. This is something real something yes something now something good, something true, something oh my God, something beyond you and me.
The only thing is. We haven’t met yet. It’s inevitable that we shall meet, it’s just the method that need be settled upon. So, I decide what I’m going to do to meet you is I’m going to have a Parade!
But have you ever tried to have a parade? The red tape, I must have made eighty-six phone calls, and all the pressure I just would have started drinking again and that would have been a book of rejection.
So, I decide what I’m going to do to meet you is rent a hall, get an outfit, invite some people.
But try getting that together. Everybody’s got their schedule everybody’s got their favorite caterer. So, I decide what I’m going to do to meet you is I’m going to dig a hole and I’m going to climb in and I’m going to sit there and I’m going to wait for you to walk by. and so I do and I wait and I wait and I wait and of course you don’t walk by and of course it rains and of course I don’t have a change of clothes and I have to go and sit in a laundromat in my underwear and wait for my clothes to dry… and as Fate would have it you walk in. and of course you don’t look at me because you’re trained not to look at people in laundromats in their underwear. But I look at you. and not only do I look at you but I see you: and your overbite and your chewed-up pencil and your cute little mm mm mm mm mmmm and the stupid look on your face when your sock hits the floor and I think “It might be” and your reaction when the hot zipper hits your forearm… (he looks at a spot on the inside of his forearm) Gawd! … and I think
(whisper) “It is.”
and then you look at me but you don’t see me and then you leave and I promise that I will meet you again. and I do. At a party. and at first it’s a little uncomfortable, but then we take that wonderful walk, through the garden. and the trees are green with envy because we’re so perfect. and the moon is blue with sadness because now we’re taken. and we make our vow. Our promise.
I promise… I swear on my empty heart and my overworked liver, on my fallen arches and my weak kidney, on my hairy belly, that I may fall and I may tumble and I may take you down with me, I may drink until I’m numb and spend entire nights with my head in the toilet, I may give you many many days of despair, I may hate your family, I may miss your birthday, I may forget to call be late for dinner and not show up until sometime the next afternoon, I may betray you, with your friends, publicly, I may degrade myself in order to win an argument, I may become only more sour and only more cynical and only more stubborn and when I die you may wish me one more moment of feeling if only but to slap me in the face but I swear on my empty heart and my overworked liver, on my failing flailing falling body, that it is only ever – has only ever been, will only ever be: me for you and you for me.