“What I would encourage is to continue being you & burning bright. The world is not served by you playing small or pretending to be less than you are. We are able to influence, encourage & inspire incredible acts of beauty & strength in other people simply by being ourselves. It is so important to keep that spark flickering in your heart, & not allow other people’s behaviour to dampen your spirit.”—Gala Darling
a painfully obvious truth I have only just learned in the past year or so:
There are few pleasures so pure & satisfying as choosing a gift for someone that you know they’re going to absolutely love, & then giving it to them, & having them freak the fuck out over it, as predicted.
1. tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now? 2. what on your body is hurting or bothering you? 3. what was your last thought before going to bed last night? 4. what are you listening to? 5. what’s something you’re not looking forward to? 6. where do you think your best friend is right now? 7. have you kissed anybody in the last five days? 8. sex on the first date? 9. kiss on the first date? 10. is there one person you want to be with right now? 11. are you seriously happy with where you are in life? 12. is there something you would like to say to someone? 13. what are three things you did today? 14. would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over? 15. what is your favorite kind of gum? 16. are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/ girlfriends? 17. what is on your wrists right now? 18. ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with? 19. does anyone have strong feelings for you? 20. are you slowly drifting away from someone? 21. have you ever wasted your time on someone? 22. can you do the alphabet in sign language? 23. how have you felt today? 24. you receive $60 without any reason, what do you spend it on? 25. what is wrong with you right now? 26. is there anyone you’re really disappointed in? 27. would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now? 28. why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore? 29. how late did you stay up last night and why? 30. when was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? 31. what were you doing an hour ago? 32. what are you looking forward to in the next month? 33. are you wearing jeans right now? 34. are you a patient person? 35. do you think you can last in a relationship for three months? 36. favorite color? 37. did you have a dream last night? 38. are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? 39. if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be? 40. do you love anyone who is not related to you? 41. if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you? 42. do you like meeting new people? 43. are you afraid of falling in love? 44. ever liked someone older than you? 45. has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? 46. have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
So first plant the seed of your new reality. Wedge it into your current space-time. Then keep watering that seed as you extend it in both time and space… until the new vibe has infected your reality to such a degree that it becomes the dominant vibe.
My preferred way of doing this is to dedicate a block of time each day to vibrational shifting work. I’m working on some fairly significant shifts for myself, so I’m currently devoting a good 1-2 hours per day to this.
I find it’s best to do this first thing in the morning, so as soon as I wake up, I instantly start thinking about the new reality I wish to experience. I load up the corresponding vibes and begin to experience them. It’s easy to do this in the morning since there’s nothing to distract me. I remind myself of some new desires, and I visualize them in a variety of ways. I imagine how I’d feel if I was already there.
This is not a complicated practice, so don’t act like you’re clueless as to how to do it. Be clueless and do it anyway.
“There are lots of ways to load up positive vibes. Some people do it by listening to their favorite music. Others like to visualize their desires as real. Some like to dance and sing or move their bodies around a lot. It’s really not complicated. If I asked you to load up a positive and abundant vibe, how would you do it? And how would you hold that vibe for at least 10 minutes?”—Steve Pavlina
She isn’t the most conventionally beautiful girl out there. She has hairy armpits and a belly pudge that she doesn’t even attempt to hide.
Her voice isn’t the most conventionally good. It cracks, and she sometimes sings off key.
However, Amanda Palmer proves that convention means NOTHING when it comes to brilliant musicianship. Her music is pure, raw emotion. It feels real. It just… feels. That’s what makes her one of the most incredible artists of all time.
-successfully introducing people to new, more constructive paradigms
-awesome couples whose sexual communication I admire greatly
-steering away from pointless negative thoughts
-texting Damian weird facts from the sex book I was reading
-re-igniting my love for music
-Love & Sequins #12
-“assume positive intent”
-a shopping spree at Orillia Square
-The Guide to Getting It On
-colorful push-up bras
-“I find you utterly bewitching”
-“I’m gonna cuddle the fuck out of you”
-singing along to Amy Winehouse tunes
-playing Ingenious with Max
-Radio Free Roscoe for hours at a time
-being reunited with my love
-when kissing feels important & fresh & new
-Courtland Mead on Conan O’Brien
-Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
-specialty breakfast restaurants
-LJ’s bad_sex community
-eating hot dogs at the bus station (how romantic)
-a guy who was wearing the same exact shirt as Damian
-“You wanna scrounge around Value Village?”
-playing Carcassonne while sipping an orange mango smoothie on a leather couch
-watching an intense thunderstorm through huge windows
-mom saying Skype is “like Subservient Chicken”
-the Beach Boys
-getting seriously dressed up for a fancy tea party
Things which make me feel better when I'm feeling scared about university:
1. The realization that there are people who are leaving everything behind - their family, friends, pets, town, in some cases continent (!!) - to attend university. If they can do that, surely I can do this.
2. The realization that lots of my friends are moving to entirely new places & being incredibly brave, & they are the same age as me, & were raised in essentially the same environment. Therefore, I should be able to handle this much more minor shift.
3. Talking to my boyfriend, who attended my university & has many insights on the subject of higher education, what it means, why it matters (or doesn’t), etc.
4. Receiving cute e-mails from cute girls, full of encouragement & strength. (Thanks, Emma.)
5. Utter distraction, usually in the form of loud music, kissing, collaging, reading, naps, baths, &/or Radio Free Roscoe.
6. A bit of perspective. There are people who would give everything they own for the privilege of education. Mine will be largely covered by a college fund my parents have been paying money into for years, & a scholarship my university awarded me. I am so fucking lucky. Who cares if it’s scary? It’s an enormous treat!
7. The knowledge that I’m not leaving Rosedale completely, because I’ll be employed there part-time next year. (I am 100% certain that there would have been 100% more tears on my last day of high school if this were not the case.)
8. Knowing I have the power to reinvent myself in this coming school year. All my previous conceptions of “who I am” don’t need to stay with me at Ryerson if I don’t want them to. I can be someone completely different. (& as exciting as a personality overhaul is, it’s somehow even more exciting to consider a sartorial overhaul!)
9. Knowing that university will give me a lot more freedom than high school did. My program, Arts & Contemporary Studies, allows the student to basically tailor-make their education to suit their interests - which means I’ll be taking tons of English, culture studies, & psychology courses. Yum.
10. Making lists like this. Once you get into a positive state of mind, further positive ideas flow in with ease. Happy thoughts attract more happy thoughts, which attract happy experiences, happy people, a happy life.
I am so grateful to be sitting here on my laptop watching the thunderstorm through our huge kitchen windows. I am so grateful that I’m in a safe warm house & don’t have to worry about being attacked by rabid raccoons or soaked by cold rain. I am so grateful that there’s always food & drink in my house. I am so grateful that I’m safe & supported all the time. I am so grateful that my life is filled with magnificent music & uplifting adventures. I am so grateful that I choose to be happy.
I am so grateful for my loving & adorable boyfriend. I am so grateful that we got to spend three solid days together & didn’t get sick of each other. I am so grateful that we’re different & we challenge each other, but we’re also similar enough that we feel really comfortable around each other. I am so grateful that we can watch stupid game shows like Cash Cab & Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? & make fun of the idiotic contestants. I am so grateful that we go for long walks & make pizza & cuddle on the couch & kiss a lot & talk about ideologies & compliment each other & act super in love all the time.
I love Amy Winehouse’s voice. I love my iPhone. I love OkCupid. I love Twitter. I love Formspring. I love my parents. I love Max. I love this transitory period in my life. I love efficient Google searches. I love ginger ale. I love Who Wants to Be a Millionnaire?. I love Damian. I love thunderstorms with lightning & lots & lots of rain. I love kissing for ages. I love open & honest communication. I love being freshly showered. I love my new clothes from Orillia. I love blogging. I love using writing to focus my energy & improve my mood.
I love that the people around me are constantly trying to improve themselves, which inspires me to do the same. I love that I have so many creative projects to start & so many books to read. I love that I received a package in the mail today & it was 3 glorious Moleskines for university! I love being able to entertain myself. I love The Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides. I love Skype. I love communal geek time. I love taking naps with my love.
I love taking big risks & saying what’s been on my mind. I love being brave. I love that I’m me & no one else is me & no one else could be me & it’s the same for every single person.
Wouldn’t it be nice to meet some new people at the ACS orientation? Wouldn’t it be nice if money fell from the sky (at least metaphorically)? Wouldn’t it be nice to have a great time at Cadence & Kathleen’s going-away parties this week? Wouldn’t it be nice to keep in touch with them via homemade postcards? Wouldn’t it be nice to read The Corrections in the bathtub?
“Can we just let each other be sexy as fuck? Can we just let ourselves do that? You can still be intelligent AND naked. You can still be full of soul AND naked. You can still be responsible, accountable, respectable AND naked. We don’t have to separate our sexual bodies from our brains and our hearts in order to be considered GOOD. Don’t demand that of people, don’t demand it of yourselves. Because it’s bullshit.”—Katie West
“While some may convince themselves that it’s a good idea to pay more attention to suffering, I shall continue to focus my attention upon the expansion of yumminess, and I’ll leave the committed sufferers to their own preferences. If you think it’s better to focus on suffering, I suggest you welcome the frustration I cause you as part of the expansion of suffering that you’re inviting. Happy to help out!”—Steve Pavlina, who is eternally pompous but often kind of right
“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit.”—Ira Glass
“Never forget that magic is an elusive force. Sometimes exasperating in its creation, it is generated by confidence and certainty. It takes swagger, madness, absurdity; it requires encouragement, irreverence, and positivity. Magic doesn’t come about by menacing people.”—John Hegarty
-orange chocolate chip pancakes/breakfast in bed
-the Machinarium soundtrack
-being gently talked down from a freak-out by someone comforting
-the “Ryerson” tag on Tumblr as a source of reassurance
-playing board games with D
-diligently & strategically planned suitcases
-familiar sights & sounds
-being a foxy minx
-Sex is Fun/Kidder Kaper
-my new song
-my awesome Ryerson courses
-“Kate is 19 & allergic to cynicism”
-taking a French aptitude test & not doing too badly
-peanut butter pie
-reading on the beach
-the Benny Hill theme song
-heart-shaped dragonfly mating rituals
I don’t respond well to people who randomly make negative observations about things or people, purely because I can’t understand, for the life of me, why someone would choose to do that.
I guess I live my life by the “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” philosophy, for the most part, because when people say mean things about anything for no reason, it completely mystifies me (not to mention annoys me).
I don’t see a point in supplying the world with more negativity. It’s not a productive or constructive thing to do. This is why, when critiquing something or someone, I always try to provide the upside as well (not to mention, I generally don’t critique anything unless asked to do so).