“I think some cultural barriers are just starting to fall. It’s a shame it’s taken this long, but porn is finally becoming “cool,” or at least acceptable, for women to watch — at least in some portion of the population. It probably has a lot to do with positive female sexual role models in porn. Women are sexual beings. They have just as much a right as men to express themselves. Porn should be an outlet in which to do that.”—Danny Wylde
“What did you just do with your legs?! It was really weird-looking. Like an acrobat. If an acrobat and a gymnast had a baby, and it was a gynecologist, that’s what you were just doing. You were doing its equivalent.”—Damian
I set out to deal with my fear the same way I deal with everything these days: Meditation.
I sat there until I reached a blissful state that I like to visit in which the boundaries of my little earthly self blur and blend with the great big gorgeous universe. It was there that I could work best with my fear.
“I indulge in fantasies of working from home in my PJs or teaching yoga, which is also essentially done in PJs. (It turns out PJs feature pretty heavily in my dream life.) I imagine my days full of travel and leisure, dying my hair whatever color I like and covering my arms with tattoos.”—Mary Richert
“Oh, and the scene doesn’t end with the cumshot. After that, the Bobbi has a moment with the Hitachi, while James murmurs the best sentence in the history of porn: “Don’t make me put it on high.””—Epiphora (I laughed very loudly at this)
I want to put together a gallery of fat people in bikinis for xojane to encourage body acceptance! please submit your photos to firstname.lastname@example.org with ‘fatkini’ in the subject line!!!! all races, ages, genders and plus size body shapes welcome/encouraged to submit.
Let’s really see all gender presentations, races and shapes!! Submit submit submit!! xo
“Also, if you have a cold or sinus infection, you can put [the Hitachi Magic Wand] on your nose and turn it on - it will make you sneeze until your sinus is cleared (really, until you turn it off).”—a crafty Redditor
“Embrace change. Change is always good. When you know the universe is always trying to bring you what you want, you learn not to resist when things aren’t exactly as you expect them to be. If something breaks, or goes wrong, it is always a solution. It’s like shuffling the deck—you can never get a new hand if you don’t let go of the cards you’re holding.”—Jessica Mullen
Happy Birthday, Kate! It's crazy to think that you're 20 and I've been listening to your music for 5 years. You've helped me and my friends through so much and I really just wanna thank you. I hope you have a birthday that's as fantastic as you are, Darling :)
Thank you so much, you sweet thing! It’s so incredible that we’ve been internet-linked for that long. You are so loyal! ♥
“Baby steps, my friends and I say to ourselves when we do our laundry after 2 weeks of piling up instead of 3. Or eat 2 muffins instead of 4. Or make it to the gym 1 day a week instead of 0. Or only kiss 1 boy we vowed not to kiss instead of the usual 10. I am beginning to think that the secret to being an adult is to just baby step it until you’re there (If there’s a there. Is there a there? Oh dear God, too many questions). Mad props if you don’t get bored or pissed off and throw in the towel. Just inch your way towards happiness. Maybe that’s all you can do.”—Ega Jones
The next time you feel inclined to say “I don’t know how,” say instead, “I’m learning how.” At least have the sense to Google “how to ___.” The information you need to get started is already at your fingertips.
Think about an educational deficiency you’d like to correct, and set a new educational goal right now. What exactly do you wish to learn, and how soon? Then plan out some of the steps you’ll need to take. Identify books to read, courses to take, and experts to talk to. Now get to work and start learning.
”—Steve Pavlina, “‘I Don’t Know How’ Is Not a Valid Excuse”
I don’t know if rape jokes encourage rape culture. I don’t care. You still shouldn’t tell them.
Statistically, if you have told a rape joke to a group of more than five people, one of the people you told it to was a rape survivor, possibly of multiple rapes. They will not necessarily disclose this to you; rape apologism is endemic in society and most rape survivors are cautious about whom they tell. Some may even be too ashamed of their rape to admit it to anyone, or because of rape-minimizing narratives like “men can’t be raped” and “I consented to oral, so I couldn’t have been raped” may not admit it even to themselves. The fact remains: if you’ve told dozens of rape jokes in your life, then you have almost certainly told a joke that minimizes or trivializes rape in front of a survivor.
And if you put as your Facebook status “I totally raped at Halo today” for your two hundred Facebook friends to see, statistically, you have just reminded thirty-three people of one of the worst experiences of their entire lives.
…for when you’re sad, insecure, lost, lonely, or otherwise in need of some serious self-salvation:
1. A playlist of music that pumps you up and stirs you to sing and dance.
2. A list of compliments you’ve received in the past few years, especially the most meaningful and unique ones. Read it as a reminder. Memorize your favorites and repeat them like a meditative mantra.
3. A creative activity to sweep your mind away from the problem. Get out your sketchbook. Dust off your ukulele. Clear some space for dancing. And hop to it.
4. Someone who loves you, even if it’s just your cat or your teddy bear. You need someone who will listen to you spill the beans and then cuddle you mercilessly.
5. The ability to positively re-direct your thoughts, which we all have. Make a gratitude list. Fantasize about something awesome. Look back on a fond memory. Glance around you and mentally point out the things that are great about your current environment, your body, your situation.
6. Something to look forward to. Call up a friend and make a plan. Open your laptop and look up some concerts, plays, or improv shows nearby. You can even set yourself a goal with a deadline.
“A crygasm is when you orgasm so intensely that you cry! I totally believe that sex can be incredibly healing (when done right and consensually) and when emotions are heightened and you fuck it out, you can orgasm your feelings to the surface and right out of you. It’s beautiful and overwhelming.”—Jessica Luxery
Absolutely everything in my wardrobe fits me now. I could reach in and grab anything, knowing that it would not have holes in, and it will look fantastic on me. I will feel comfortable in anything I wear. I would feel supported by whatever I chose. I no longer think ‘I’m too fat’, ‘I need to lose weight’, ‘Oh, what a shame I can’t wear this.’ I just think ‘Yes! Something else I look great in.’
And starting the day like that? Totally worth it.
”—Amelia on why cleaning out your closet is awesome
There is way too much sex toy information in my brain.
Sometimes I ponder what would happen if I were to replace all my knowledge of sex toys with knowledge of current events, or philosophy, or math, and I get kind of sad that I haven’t used my brain better.
But then I experience the rush of recommending someone a toy that they end up really liking, and I feel glad again.
crazy anon tingz meant to entertain you for a couple minutes. fav movie? fav flower? fav sex toy? fav flavour? fav candy? fav tv show? fav food? fave make up? fav album? fav room in your house? fav tingz about dames? fav tingz about summer? fav tingz about hipsters?
Haha, oh anon, you are too kind.
Favorite movie: High Fidelity
Favorite flower: blue tulips
Favorite sex toy: currently Lelo Mona
Favorite flavor: ginger
Favorite candy: Hot Tamales or Hot Lips
Favorite TV show: The Office (US)
Favorite food: umm, I don’t even know… I love caesar salad, and linguine, and tiramisu, and beef teriyaki…
Favorite makeup: L’Oreal Lineur Intense liquid eyeliner, MAC Heartless lipstick, Sugarpill Tiara eyeshadow
Favorite album: Tegan and Sara’s “The Con,” Jeremy Larson’s “They Reappear”
Favorite room in my house: my bedroom, of course!
Favorite things about Dames: his sense of humor, his feminist and sex-positive views, his forearms, the way he knows exactly how to make tea the way I like it
Favorite things about summer: busking, sundresses, all-nighters, frappuccinos, Pride, swimming
Favorite things about hipsters: their ukulele music