“I never dress like I’m “going to work”. No. Instead, I break out my gold spiked cowboy boots, apply red lipstick for extra mojo & wear bunny ears when I’m feeling uninspired. It works much better!”—Gala Darling on working from home
That last anon was such a sad, disrespectful asshat. Reading what they said truly pissed me off. You're a wonderful, courageous woman capable of amazing things and you're doing what you need to do for your own health. Kudos to you.
Thank you, wonderful anon!
I’m going to take this moment to quote Jessica Luxery (or Majestic LeGay; I’m not sure which of them wrote it, because it was on their joint blog):
"Remember, being kind to yourself and respecting your needs is a revolutionary act and we all need time away once and a while."
it's kind of funny that you're going to therapy because you always portray yourself as knowing everything about everything and always having everything under control. and you always post stuff about being able to control your moods and stuff...but like you obviously can't lol
People can control their moods if there’s not a chemical imbalance involved. I’ve always maintained that mental health problems are primarily beyond the realm of being able to be helped by gratitude practices (at least, in my opinion - people like Louise L. Hay feel differently), and so, in those cases, professional help may be required.
Anyway, I don’t think it’s a crime to seek out help when you need it, nor do I think it’s a crime for me to admit that I’m not perfect. I also don’t believe that I “portray myself” as being under control all the time; if I’m perceived that way, that’s not my doing.
I can control my moods to an astonishing degree, and it impresses me that it’s so easy to do, but when hormonal or chemical imbalances come into play, I don’t even want to do the work of controlling them. I lose all motivation to do so. Even the idea of making a gratitude list seems exhausting when I’m in that mood, even though I know it would help (and it always does).
By the way, it’s not funny to laugh at someone about something like this. If you don’t like or respect me, there’s no reason for you to be here.
Hey, how are you doing? Are you OK? I think it's really great that if you feel like it would help you to go to the therapist, that you do. From experience I can tell you that. If you feel like talking to someone, or spilling your guts on anyone, please hit me up, I'll be here whenever you need it. You've been a constant inspiration for me for more about two years (!), I can only hope I can give some of it back. Honestly, though. Whatever you need.
Whoa, Sharon! I can’t believe we’ve been web-buddies for 2 years already! It feels like just yesterday that we started sharing Law of Attraction tips ‘n’ tricks. (On a related note: are you in the School of Life Design Facebook group? Because you would LOVE it!)
Thanks so much for the support and concern. I’m doing okay, most of the time; I’m just suffering occasional bouts of depression and anxiety because this is such a weird transitional period in my life, in terms of finding my independence, going to university, making new friends and separating from old ones, figuring out my future career, etc. It’s just basic young-adult stuff, but I feel like I’m not dealing with it as well as my peers are, and I think I need help. It’s a huge relief that I’m going to see a therapist, and that I’m able to do so.
Thanks so much! Hope all’s well with you, darling!
“the fact that “love your body” rhetoric shifts the responsibility for body acceptance over to the individual, and away from communities, institutions, and power, is also problematic. individuals who do not love their bodies, who find their bodies difficult to love, are seen as being part of the problem. the underlying assumption is that if we all loved our bodies just as they are, our fat-shaming, beauty-policing culture would be different. if we don’t love our bodies, we are, in effect, perpetuating normative (read: impossible) beauty standards. if we don’t love our individual bodies, we are at fault for collectively continuing the oppressive and misogynistic culture. if you don’t love your body, you’re not trying hard enough to love it. in this framework, your body is still the paramount focus, and one way or another, you’re failing. it’s too close to the usual body-shaming, self-policing crap, albeit with a few quasi-feminist twists, for comfort.”—look at the medusa straight on.: on “loving your body.” (via ceedling)
“Eat what you want. Eating healthfully for your body is not a moral act, and eating unhealthfully for your body is not an immoral act. Eat what you want. You have my big fat permission, forevermore. Go forth and devour.”—Melissa McEwan
“Sometimes I start doubting myself because I think, “No one else is doing this! How can it possibly work?!” Then I remind myself that’s what I want. Lead with your mood, your play, your creativity, your openness, your adaptability, and your knowing. Be the first one to do it! Be the one who can! Of course other people will doubt, because they haven’t seen it before. But YOU can!”—Jessica Mullen
hi Kate, will you be posting your list of stuff to do when you think you have nothing to do? it would really come in handy for me. i would include make a friendship bracelet because it's something I enjoy.
I don’t think you would find it that interesting, to be honest - it’s mainly just stuff I’ve been meaning to get around to doing but haven’t done yet (e.g. clean my room, clear out my closet, shop for summer clothes, etc).
ANNNDDDD I just scrolled down your tumblr and realized that you reblogged my message and am blushing because it's like mentor is admiring my work. I feel so creepy because of all the messages I'm sending you so I'll leave now, but have a lovely Sunday Kate:)
I also just realized that my message to ashley's hater was essentially a combination of advice you've given to me and various anon haters that have attacked you, so I apologize for any copying that may have happened lol. I feel like I'm your tumblr child or something lol
ahaha, yeah, I thought I recognized my own attitude in there - but I don’t think it’s a unique attitude. Any time you see someone wasting that much time on something so trivial, it’s hard to avoid the impulse to tell them to get a hobby and learn some new ways to have fun.
“HONESTLY anon: get a life. And I don’t mean that in a derogatory or humiliating way. What I mean is, go learn about the joy of taking walks whilst listening to a new album on your iPod, the joy of delving into a new book, the joy of finding a cool topic to obsess and pour over the internet, the joy of spending time with friends. While nobody knows who you actually are, what they can determine is that you are a sad, sad person whose has stooped so low that you find it necessary to bring people like Ashley down in order to feel better about your life. Go join a club, go get a library card, go to a yoga class, go strike up a conversation with that cutie you’ve had your eye on for a while. Ashley is simply living her life and finding joy in the glorious relationship that she finds herself in, which is causing absolutely NO HARM to you whatsoever. So please, if it honestly infuriates you too much, reprimand yourself from ever visiting Ashley’s page and GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. <3<3<3”—an anonymous response to one of the posts by my “passive-aggressive anon” on Ash’s Tumblr (yes, said anon has moved on to lurking and harassing Ash & Eric in recent weeks)
“Feminism is the radical notion that women are people, people who have individual sexual desires or lack thereof, and who should be free to explore those safely with the partners we choose without being stigmatized for not fitting into someone else’s idea of what “correct sex” is. Feminist sex celebrates the choice to have whatever legal, informed, consenting sex we damn well want. This includes sex that is rough, potentially violent, multiple partners, whatever. Legal, informed, consenting sex is not wrong.”—Keori
I want to get into porn as a side thing. Any idea how I can without moving to the valley?
I’m not really the person to ask, as I’m not involved in the porn industry. However, I know that Courtney Trouble films incredible (mostly queer) porn outside of the Valley, and I also know that some people make money from doing cam shows online, stripping, making amateur porn at home, etc.
What do you have to say to people who argue that gender-identity is a "first-world problem" that seems insignificant placed next to things like world hunger, war, etc.?
Well, I’m not trans or genderqueer, myself, so I can’t speak to the intensity of those feelings or how they compare to feelings like hunger or loss of a family member. You could talk to Eric or Mark if you want to learn more about that.
I think of it as being similar to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, in a way. If your daily struggles include trying to find food and trying to protect your family from gunfire, then maybe you won’t notice if your gender identity matches up with your assigned sex or not. Or maybe you will. It’s more torturous for some than it is for others.
Still, though, to minimize gender identity by calling it a “first-world problem” is shitty. It’s still a huge problem, totally unimaginable to those who haven’t experienced it firsthand. So don’t be judgin’, bro.
“And in other helpful stereotypes, all a person needs to do is fight really hard and they can stop rapes. ALSO GOOD TO KNOW! Wait, actually not good to know at all—just another dangerous myth of the rape culture, one which ignores the reality wherein those who “fight back” are likely to be framed as aggressors, and where those who choose not to resist as a survival strategy (or for whom physical resistance just isn’t feasible for whatever reason) are liars who really wanted it.”—Aphra Behn, “Today in Misogyny: Geek Culture Edition”
thank you, universe, for giving me a beautiful cat who, at some point every evening, claws at the chair i’m sitting in, asks to be pulled up to sit beside me, and when i do pull her up, sits quietly and purrs at me.