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Acceptable topics: boobs, vaginas, style, beauty, queerness, or anything else you feel like chattin’ about.

Anonymous said: hello hello :) what do you think of nipple piercings, in terms of how they look and the implications they have? would you get them? i have them and they really do increase pleasure, but i've heard that it's not the same for everyone!

Hmm. I guess I don’t really have any strong opinions on nipple piercings, unlike some other piercings (I love pierced labrets, for example).

I think they can look really cool. There are lots of porn stars in the queer porn industry with pierced nips and they can look super hot. I guess I just wonder about the logistics of receiving nipple pleasure after having them pierced. I don’t think I’d ever get mine pierced because I wouldn’t want there to be anything in the way of my partner’s tongue/fingers/whatever. But I don’t really have any experience with pierced nips so I’m sure it’s easier than I’m imagining.

When it comes to piercings, I say just do whatever the fuck you want. I don’t share my parents’ aversion to body modification. But I do think that you should talk it over with your romantic partner, if you have one, before getting a piercing that will impact their sex life (e.g. your genitals, nipples, or tongue). That seems fair to me.

Anonymous said: How was your first day??? Not to be too inquisitive but sometimes the hardest things for me are things that I once failed at that I try again, so I think you're super brave for trying school again!!

My first day isn’t until Tuesday :) Orientation was fine, though.

shjaron said: How's school? Have you started already? How are you feeling about it? <3

It starts on Tuesday! I’m feeling pretty good about it. Still sort of nervous about meeting people and about all the hard work it’s going to involve (Ryerson’s J-school program is apparently super intense), but orientation helped a lot to set my mind at ease.

Anonymous said: i'm 20, a virgin an EXTREMELY tight. i was thinking that maybe if i get a dildo then, by the time i have my first time, it will not be as painful. also, i've always wanted to get one. do you recommend getting one while still being a virgin?

Yeah, I do think that’s a good idea. Exploring penetration on your own is a great way to prepare to be penetrated by a partner. I’d recommend you get a Tantus Compact or Small Silk if you can, or even a dilator set; any of these could help you get used to penetration. (Make sure you’re always very turned on, well-lubed, and stimulating your clit while you try this stuff.)

There’s also a possibility that you might have a legitimate problem, like vaginismus. It’s more common than you’d think. It might be worth talking to your doctor/gyno about your tightness and pelvic pain.

howmy-heart-behaves said: Hello kate! do you think that not wanting to swallow my partners cum is a selfish attitude? he respects my choice completely, but i'm starting to think that maybe i really should just... you know, swallow :P

I guess it depends on your reasons for not wanting to do it. I always believe that each person has the right to set their own sexual boundaries, and that those should be respected by their partner(s)… but there’s a difference between something you absolutely cannot do, and something you choose not to do because you find it slightly off-putting.

If it’s a fear you have because you haven’t done it much in the past, it’d probably be good to face that fear and get over it. No use holding onto anxieties, especially in areas like sex which are supposed to be joyful.

But if you’ve tried it enough to know that you just don’t like it at all… then I think it’s reasonable for you to maintain that boundary. We all have things that we just don’t do, and that’s fine as long as you’re with someone who respects that limit.

Anonymous said: i think the main problem for me is the taste of it! and the texture and all, it gives me a gaggin reflex every single time. is there some way to make it more pleasurable? be it taste-wise or texture-wise?

Yes: you can get your boyfriend to improve his diet. He should drink more water and fruit juice, eat more fresh fruit (especially pineapple, but any fruit is fine), and cut out as many strong-smelling foods/drinks as possible (e.g. garlic, onions, red meat, coffee). If he does this for at least two days before you’re planning on going down on him, his man-juices will taste sweeter.

ughhhh I just got seriously street-harassed by a really creepy guy while waiting for my dad to pick me up from volunteering. :( :( :(

Dear men: in 99.9% of cases, it is not acceptable to approach a woman you’ve never met before in a public place and start chatting her up, ESPECIALLY when she’s alone, ESPECIALLY when she’s clearly engaged in another activity, and ESPECIALLY when her responses clearly indicate disinterest and/or discomfort.

Tru and I have been having snuggly evenings together lately.

Tru and I have been having snuggly evenings together lately.