I think about this idea a lot, because I’m a bi femme who only ever seems to be attracted to women if they are androgynous or boyish in some way… I’ve often wondered if that’s due to societal conditioning or if that’s who I’m really attracted to.
In a cissexist, essentialist, racist, etc. society, if you don’t seriously examine your sexual preferences, it is all but guaranteed that prejudice will slip in. Asking people to examine where their preferences come from to see if there’s unrecognized bigotry involved isn’t equatable to forcing them to sleep with someone.
(summary of a long Twitter exchange)
We could all benefit from interrogating the way internalized messages influence our romantic and sexual relationships the same way we interrogate how they influence our non-sexual relationships.
Trim your nails short enough that you could safely insert your fingers into your own vagina, should you ever want to.