Doing porn is kind of like being gay: it’s none of your business and I don’t understand why you care.
Empathy is what happens when racist white parents discover their child’s best friend at school is black, and they begin to revisit their prejudices. Empathy is what happens when a homophobic woman finds out that male coworker she really likes is gay, and she begins to reconsider all those biases she’s held for so long. Empathy is what happens when real life, real people, prove obviously, demonstrably wrong all those conservative bedtime stories about gays and immigrants and castrating feminazis that go bump in the night.
Empathy is what happens when good conservatives, who have long mistaken patronizing pity for compassion, suddenly realize that being white, or male, or straight, or cisgender, or Christian, or rich, or thin, or able-bodied, or USian, or educated, or in any other way not Other, doesn’t make them better people; it merely makes them privileged people.
Empathy is what turns people into progressives.
saying “chill, it was a joke” is not an excuse for homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, rape “jokes,” or any other form of oppression.
if you’re joking about it in a negative way, then you’re not “joking,” you’re “being a privileged asshole.”
there was a thread on reddit tonight asking women what interests/skills/talents they find instantly sexy in a man.
i said: playing a musical instrument/being interested in music, being a good writer, involvement in theatre and/or improv.
apparently people liked my comment because it got a lot of upvotes… but several people (men) commented to say some variation of, “your ideal man is gay.”
look, i don’t care how “funny” you think that is - it’s factually incorrect and it’s also disgusting to say that.
i went to an arts high school, and honestly? there weren’t even that many gay guys there. i don’t even think there was necessarily a higher proportion of male queerness at my school than there was in the real world, which i guess would be surprising to some people.
but it’s not surprising to me. an interest in the arts is not a “feminine” quality. humans are, as a rule, interested in the arts. that’s why the arts have survived this long in our collective culture.
i can honestly say that i see no correlation in my own life between guys who are gay and guys who are interested in the arts. my own boyfriend, who is the straightest guy i know, is a pixel artist, has a strong interest in music, and comes with me to improv shows regularly. my brother, who’s primarily straight, plays more than 4 different musical instruments, writes his own songs, and even takes theatre history classes at school. and there were a bunch of boys on the improv team i coached, and the teams i was a part of in high school, who were straight, as far as i’m aware (liam, sasa, nick, connor, stefan, alex) but are nonetheless brilliant improvisors and very much interested in that side of theatre. many of them even pursue theatre in other ways (i know nick, for example, was in summerworks last year, stefan is at actors’ college, and connor was considering going into theatre tech as a profession).
i think some straight guys accuse artsy guys of being gay because they’re jealous of that artsiness. and they have a right to be jealous of that, because artsy guys are incredibly sexy and desirable and interesting and wonderful. but not all of them are gay. in fact, maybe one-tenth of the guys i met in my theatre classes were even a little bit gay.
(plus, who the fuck cares if i want to date a guy who’s “a little bit gay” anyway? i’ve dated two bi guys and there really is no practical difference, incase any biphobic stereotypin’ motherfuckers are out there and are convinced that bi guys can’t be good boyfriends to ladies. they can.)
Anonymous asked: ME FUCKING TOO. ME. FUCKING. TOO. I'm convinced that all homophobic politicians are all closeted gays.
My opinion on this was really validated for me when I found out that two of the (male) leaders of the world’s biggest “ex-gay” organization left their jobs so they could be together.
Like, seriously… if you don’t want me to think that you’re secretly harboring homosexual feelings, don’t attack homosexuals with the burning rage that only someone personally involved could feel.
Oh, people who think that “disagreeing” with the “homosexual lifestyle” doesn’t count as homophobia.
I get it. The label of “homophobe” worries you because it sounds so aggressive and blatant. And you don’t blatantly hate homosexuals, right? You just don’t “agree” with how they “choose” to live their lives.
Yeah, I’d like to see you try to tell a black person that you don’t “agree with” their blackness, and see if you can get away with adding “but I’m not a racist; I hate racists!”
That shit would never work. And it’s the exact same thing, in a different form.
Okay, I get that you find it difficult to imagine what it would be like to be attracted to both sexes, but that doesn’t mean NO ONE is. Idiots.
That’s EXACTLY like saying you don’t believe in leprosy or malaria because you’ve never actually seen someone who had it.
SO FUCKING STUPID.