week 51 of 52 - caroling on Flickr.
Christmas is right around the corner… Remember this? (Taken at my caroling party last year)
I don’t really have a desire to be polyamorous. I love the monogamous approach to sexual and romantic relationships. I love having one person who is my best friend and takes up a huge chunk of my heart. I love the devotion and safety and intimacy involved in that.
But at the same time, I’m not terribly attached to the idea of cut-and-dried monogamy. I think my heart would become utterly stagnant if it wasn’t fuelled by “New Relationship Energy” from time to time, even if we’re defining “New Relationship” as “someone who I flirt with and possibly kiss.”
I don’t feel that having crushes outside of my relationship are a detriment to my relationship, nor do they make me more likely to be dishonest to my partner, nor do they cause any kind of inner conflict in me.
But, of course, I am lucky enough to be dating someone who I feel comfortable talking to when I find myself crushing on someone else. I recognize that not everyone has that freedom to be open and to feel what they’re feeling.
I find it so weird when young couples say stuff like, “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” or “I’m going to love you forever.”
I’m thinking mostly of people who are in high school, but even college-age people saying that stuff is kind of strange.
Like, really? How can you possibly know that? You’re not even fully emotionally mature and yet you can honestly envision yourself being in the same relationship for the rest of your life?
I’m in the most solid, satisfying relationship of my life, but I still recognize that it’s extremely unlikely it’ll last forever. I don’t even particularly want it to last forever, because I know we’re both going to change a lot, and the person you want to be with at age 20 is so different from the person you’ll want to be with at age 40, 30, or even 25.
Edited to add: Before any anons freak out at me - no, I’m not talking about anyone in particular. There are a lot of couples in my life who do this.
Why would I stop loving you a hundred years from now? It’s only time.
The Magnetic Fields
Behind every relationship problem is a sweaty ten-minute conversation you’ve been trying to avoid. Do it now.
Cuteness from the other night.
You may notice that my face is extraordinarily red in these photos. That’s because I was actively having an allergic reaction to this heavily-scented moisturizer I stole out of my mom’s medicine cabinet. Won’t make that mistake again!
I’m reading the comments on this article & it’s causing me to ponder relationship politics/etiquette a lot.
Discussion question: if you go on a date with someone, & you don’t have a good time/don’t like them, is it okay to just stop returning their calls/texts, or are they owed a proper explanation?
It’s refreshing that being in a long-term romantic relationship is every bit as wonderful as I imagined it would be.
Sometimes it seems like practically everything we ever want will inevitably turn out to be less awesome than we’d pictured it being. I’m glad that this one thing defies that rule.