I think it’s amazing that [some men want] to be a feminist, but the first rule to learn when you’re a privileged ally is to listen to the oppressed class. I wouldn’t go and tell a person of color that their point is invalid when they talk about racism because valid and invalid are not things I get to decide in that realm. Instead, I need to listen to their stories and concerns and work within their experiences, because they’re the ones experiencing the oppression. When someone says I did something racist, I don’t prove anything by yelling at them for calling me that. I can only help the situation by asking them what I did to come across as racist and what I could do better next time to not be racist. Then, if I really want to call myself an ally, I have to listen to them and absorb what they say. Same goes for men who want to call themselves feminists. You have to sit back and listen to women and trust that we know more than you do about misogyny because we live it and you do not.
The conversation is not about makeup and whether or not you like to see women in it, the conversation is about two things: 1. the social phenomenon of men who want to see themselves as feminists in theory but don’t want to do the work that it takes to be a feminist in practice (in this case they say they like women without makeup but they wouldn’t ever really date a woman who wasn’t actively keeping with a beauty regimen). 2. the comments made that come across as in support of women but are really still about the male perspective/gaze/opinion (“I like you better without makeup” is still about the male’s preference, not whether or not the woman wants to wear makeup or not, it’s still a statement that says that her looks have to be validated by a man to be ok).
When you took this conversation that is trying to have more depth back to a shallow level and expect a pat on the back for being a good guy who likes his women au natural, you are proving the exact point of the arguments made by the feminists here.
Headed out to the Queer Slowdance in a couple of hours to do some research for a story I have to write for school.
Um, you know you’re an introvert when you really only want to go to a social event so that you can come home and write about it after.
(To be fair, though, I have gone to the Slowdance in the past for purely social reasons… I am not a total hermit, I promise!)
Minimal-ish makeup today because I don’t want to cry it all off at Angels in America…
Covergirl 3-in-1 liquid foundation
MAC Studio Fix powder foundation
Clinique Airbrush concealer
Almay eyebrow pencil
Clinique Lash Power mascara
Too Faced Candlelight Shadow Insurance (I just bought this in New York, it’s a strange product that is basically sparkly gold liquid eyeshadow that doubles as an eyelid primer)
I recently bought the Naked Basics palette and it’s pretty rad. It’s a bunch of matte neutral shades, plus one shimmery pale highlight.
Bonus: one of the shades doubles as a perfect eyebrow powder for me, and there is also a black shade that I could probably use as an eyeliner if I wasn’t a diehard liquid liner devotee.
Overall: a great palette. But only if you like matte neutrals.
P.S. Check out my mom photobombing this picture.
1970s-inspired look for the Anchorman screening tonight.
I was going to try to make my whole hair Farrah Fawcett-y but a) I don’t know how to use a curling iron properly and b) it is waaaay too hot to wear my hair down and c) I have a massive amount of hair that takes ages to style.
On my face: Covergirl 3-in-1 foundation, MAC blotting powder, Too Faced Shadow Insurance eye primer, Sugarpill shadows in Afterparty (blue) and Midori (green), Sephora mascara, and an orangey Maybelline lipstick that Damian’s mom gave me.