i continue to wonder why so many people choose to fixate on the downsides of their situation
In other news, I’ve been taking my own advice & writing gratitude lists in my pink Moleskine every morning. All I can say is… WOW. This extremely simple act, which only takes a few minutes, has been completely transforming my day. All you need is some paper & a pen, & make it the first thing you do when you roll out of bed. It really sets you up to have an incredible day. In fact, I sincerely believe that generating so much positivity in the morning is helping attract even more loveliness into my life.
Think of today as Christmas and your birthday, and you’re in Hawaii. Tonight is New Year’s Eve. Do whatever you would do if it were those days. Yeah, this is some carpe diem shit but if you just try to feel like you’re on vacation for one second, you’ll find your life feeling more and more like a vacation every day. I don’t know if that’s your thing, but it’s definitely mine!
Sometimes I start doubting myself because I think, “No one else is doing this! How can it possibly work?!” Then I remind myself that’s what I want. Lead with your mood, your play, your creativity, your openness, your adaptability, and your knowing. Be the first one to do it! Be the one who can! Of course other people will doubt, because they haven’t seen it before. But YOU can!
I’ve found my official life purpose: to make life look easy. Whenever I’m in a stressful situation, I just ask myself, ‘What would I do if I was making life look easy?’
We are like radio tuners projecting a signal, and we have the power to switch to any station we like. Crank your mood up to 11 and you’ll hear your favorite song begin to play!
I was just writing in my lifestream about how I’m getting better at subtly manipulating the moods of people around me - a very useful skill to have when you have family members or close friends who are a bit more negative than you would like.
Here’s a practical tip about that, which I’ve done several times & really works:
For each negative family member or friend you have, make a playlist of songs that you know they enjoy, that cheer them up, make them want to sing along or dance, etc. Then, next time you’re hanging out with them, if they seem a little down, put on the playlist casually in the background.
They’ll generally perk right up, because music has that kind of power! Magic!
1. listen to good music
3. play an instrument
4. put on a cute outfit, take pictures, & post them
5. do cute makeup/hair
6. send someone a complimentary message
7. send some snail mail
8. clean your room
9. cut your hair
10. take a nap
11. watch funny TV shows/movies
13. write in your journal
14. read blogs you admire
15. read old journal entries
16. read an engrossing book
17. go for a long walk
18. drink coffee or tea
19. drink some Baileys
20. make a meal & eat it
22. have sex
24. read smart erotica
25. watch amateur porn
26. shop online
27. go shopping
28. plan an art project
29. make a list of goals/intentions
30. do something on your to-do list & cross it off
31. offer to help someone with something
32. watch videos of toddlers or kittens on YouTube
33. get rid of old junk, unwanted clothes, etc.
34. play Ingenious or Scrabble
35. hula hoop
36. do push-ups
37. look at old photos of happy times
38. take beautiful self-portraits
39. talk to a loved one
40. draw in your sketchbook
41. make collages
42. read magazines
43. peruse a bookstore at length
44. pick out something new at the health food store & try it
45. eat some chocolate, slowly & luxuriously
47. make a gratitude list
49. try out different perfumes at a department store
50. take your camera out for a walk
51. take a shower
52. take a long hot bath
53. pet your cat/dog/whatever
55. write a thank-you note
56. go to an art gallery & drink it in
57. go see a movie
58. get rush tickets for a play or musical
59. rent a lavish movie-musical & watch it
60. invite some interesting people over for dinner
61. start planning an event
62. donate to charity
63. watch Abraham-Hicks videos
65. get a spa treatment of some sort
66. buy a bath bomb at Lush & use it
67. read about the life of someone inspirational
68. talk to a stranger
69. go to a specialty tea shop, sniff various kinds, & have a cup of your favorite
70. go look at kittens/puppies in a pet shop
71. try on appallingly expensive clothes at luxury boutiques & take photos
72. dress provocatively, go for a walk, & count how many honks/stares/comments you get
73. write a well-researched blog post about something you desire
74. go to a sex shop & play with vibrators
75. do a free-form painting, perhaps Jackson Pollock-style
76. hang out at the library for a while
77. make a goofy video
78. seek out new music that you’ll love
79. download some excellent audiobooks & enjoy them on long walks or drives
80. write fanfiction
81. bid on some cool stuff on eBay
82. write a fan letter
83. watch old home videos of yourself
84. watch movies you used to love when you were a kid
85. put on a clay face mask to clear out your pores
86. flirt with someone
87. go see an improv show
88. write a bio for your future self
89. imagine what you would do if you won the lottery
90. drink a lot of water
91. take your vitamins
92. eat a big salad
93. buy new underwear
94. look at yourself naked in the mirror & list off your favorite parts of your body
95. reminisce with old friends (or your parents)
96. look up local free cultural events & go to one
97. make a playlist with a specific theme & post it online
98. hang out with your favorite toddler/child
99. give yourself a scalp massage
This is the most simple concept in the universe: appreciating what is, versus focusing on what isn’t. That simple shift, from noticing & wishing things were different, to appreciating what is, changes EVERYTHING. It changes the way you see yourself, it changes your path, it changes the way people interact with you.
1. Engage in gratitude every day. There are so many ways you can do this. You might want to start every day off right by writing a list of things you’re grateful for, before you even check your e-mail or have your coffee. You might try making gratitude vlogs or writing gratitude tweets. Fit it into your schedule wherever you can; it will transform your life.
2. Listen to rad music, & discover more all the time. Comb through your favorite genre on Bandcamp to find new gems. Ask your friends to make you mix CDs (or playlists on thumb drives). Learn the words to songs & sing ‘em loud. Dance, hula hoop, rap along with hiphop mofos. Luxuriate in the fun richness of sonic art.
3. Make things. Zines. Collages. Songs. Dance routines. Short stories. Video diaries. Found poems. Mittens. Paintings. They don’t have to be spectacular, they just have to be fun.
4. Get dressed up, whatever that means to you. Maybe you would feel good if you wore a tux every day, or maybe you just need to invest in more big cuddly sweaters. Would high-heeled boots make you feel cuter, or bright orange flats? Would you delight in yourself more if you wore tutus on a regular basis?
5. Interact. Accept social invitations. Go to random concerts & art shows your social circle is linked to. Reach out to people at your school, your work, or even online. Get really jazzed about the idea of making new friends.
6. Give back. Donate money to a charity you feel strongly about, when you’re able. Volunteer with an organization that makes you want to cry from happiness. Wear emblematic ribbons & buttons on your clothes so people know what you support. Tutor a child you know. Find a way to re-funnel your unique brilliance back into the community that fostered it in you.
7. Be romantic. If you don’t have a lover, work yourself up to flirting shamelessly with everyone you find even mildly attractive (it gets both your hearts pumping faster). If you do have a lover, flirt more, kiss more, wear saucy lingerie, make an effort. If you don’t have a lover & don’t really want one, supplement your romance-o-meter by consuming epic fictional love stories & falling in love with yourself.
8. Learn new things. Languages, art forms, practical skills, social tricks, recipes, musical instruments, applications, crafts. Get excited about the idea of expanding your world & your abilities.
9. If something isn’t working, change it. Feeling oppressed by your boyfriend? Dump him. Hate your apartment? Go hunting for a new one. Tired of your clothes? Sell them & go thrifting for new ones. Life is too short to spend time fretting about shit we loathe; you have the right to make changes to anything in your life which is bringing you down.
10. Communicate. Be flagrantly unafraid to ask for what you want, clearly, openly, & repeatedly if necessary. No one is going to know what you need from them unless you tell them. You’ll never get that dream job or meet that dream person or find that dream house if you never, ever tell anyone what you’re looking for. Fortune favors the brave, so screw up your courage & put your dearest requests out into the universe.