Headed out to the Queer Slowdance in a couple of hours to do some research for a story I have to write for school.
Um, you know you’re an introvert when you really only want to go to a social event so that you can come home and write about it after.
(To be fair, though, I have gone to the Slowdance in the past for purely social reasons… I am not a total hermit, I promise!)
Doing porn is kind of like being gay: it’s none of your business and I don’t understand why you care.
Please don’t use words like “admitted” or “confessed” when referring to a celebrity who has come out as bi or gay/lesbian.
As a journalist, you are supposed to be impartial, which means you don’t get to editorialize the connotations of someone coming out.
In this day and age, perhaps they didn’t “admit” or “confess” their sexual orientation; perhaps they announced it, gleefully shouted it, got it off their chest, shared it, or just mentioned it.
Don’t attach shame to what deserves none.
Femme is intentionality. When you compliment my outfit, you are appreciating my taste, my resourcefulness, my creativity, my sense of adventure, my liberal application of glitter, my choice to wear sequins with sequins.
…and so here’s my yearly announcement: I’m not straight.
I typically identify as “queer” because it’s a blanket term that encompasses the complexity of my not-always-static sexual orientation. However, you can use any of these other terms to describe me, if you want: bisexual, pansexual, Kinsey 2, heteroflexible.
I have straight-passing privilege, which means that I benefit from being frequently misidentified as straight, because of the way I look and the way my partner looks. Though this isn’t a privilege I’m happy about, there are lots of people who would envy me for it, so I have to acknowledge that I’m lucky to be straight-passing. It’s impossible to know how many times it has spared me from incidents of homophobia.
Wishing you the best of luck with any coming out you want or need to do, today or any other day.
- Me: You should never assume someone's sexual orientation; wait until they tell you what it is.
- Random dude: But sometimes assuming is good, because if you think someone's gay, you can make them feel more comfortable by acting gay-friendly around them.
- Me: ...Why don't you just act gay-friendly ALL THE TIME?
I think about this idea a lot, because I’m a bi femme who only ever seems to be attracted to women if they are androgynous or boyish in some way… I’ve often wondered if that’s due to societal conditioning or if that’s who I’m really attracted to.
In a cissexist, essentialist, racist, etc. society, if you don’t seriously examine your sexual preferences, it is all but guaranteed that prejudice will slip in. Asking people to examine where their preferences come from to see if there’s unrecognized bigotry involved isn’t equatable to forcing them to sleep with someone.
(summary of a long Twitter exchange)
We could all benefit from interrogating the way internalized messages influence our romantic and sexual relationships the same way we interrogate how they influence our non-sexual relationships.
OH MY GOD, WHAT.
Ever wished for a porn site that was made by a trans man and had a trans man in every scene?
Ever wished you could find more porn with trans men and cis men, cis women, trans women, and other trans men?
Ever wish that it was filthy, hard core, shot in HD, ethically made, and affordable?
Ever wish it had the TROUBLEfilms stamp on it so you knew it was part of a reliable company with great customer service (me!), generous sales, and a life-long commitment to pornographic excellence?
WELL TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY FUCKER DAY. http://ftmfucker.com/ - Brought to you by James Darling and TROUBLEfilms.
I was somewhat excited to hear what Courtney Trouble’s new porn project was, but I had no idea it would be as awesome as this.
Also, I know one of the people in that photo… Like, in real life. haha
I think we just have to get rid of all sexual labels and say: I’m sexual. What is my sexual preference? Sex! Sex is my sexual preference.